21
Jun
10

The food at Great America may have killed me


Oh my LORD there is nothing but crap to eat at Great America.

We had an awesome day with Thor and the little ones…but I was hungry, yo and everyone was rubbing up against me with their whipped cream-covered funnel cakes and there churros and there huge ass misshapen beef and cheddar sammies and their fricken’ cheese pretzels.  I kept circling the Southwest Territory for a hummus and baby carrot stand or perhaps a grilled eggplant and fresh herb garden vender, but hell NO.  Great America=not sulfite-free.   I was hot, smelly and hungry and I did NOT look attractive.  Luckily, no one else did either.

So here are the things I cheated with today.  It is virtually impossible to have a sulfite allergy at an amusement park:

*Cold Stone creamery strawberry pie ice cream.

*an unsalted pretzel.  Man, that sucked.  What a waste of a cheat.  I wasn’t even inspired enough to eat a quarter of it.  It was all hard and bland.  I think I left it on the table.  It’s probably still there if you want it.

*I took a few sips of the kids multiple varieties of Icee flavors.  All tasted like fruit flavored piss.

*Fresh corn on the cob with butter.  Actually, I don’t think that was cheating.  But the butter was probably made out of melted bubble wrap so I will add that to the list.

*1 bite of Maggie’s chicken nugget from the Wendy’s stop on the way home.  (I had a plain baked potato.  All that did was just further piss me off.)

Oh yeah, speaking of Wendy’s.  Our gorgeous, sweet, funny, well-behaved and enthusiastic children today basically suffered from borderline child abuse due to the crap that we made them eat today.

McDonald’s for breakfast….GA pizza for lunch….random unmentionables across the park, (costing us, by the way,  somewhere in the neighborhood of ONE MILLION DOLLARS) and Wendy’s for dinner on the way home.

Going to crawl in bed after I wash my Great America feet, kiss my perfect father husband Thor and pray that I can move my extremities in the morning.  Those funnel cakes looked slutty, though.  Mmmmmmmm…..

This guy is annoying and I'm glad I didn't bump into him

update 1:15pm June 21, 2010

The food at Great America did not kill me.

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4 Responses to “The food at Great America may have killed me”


  1. 1 Tracy
    June 25, 2010 at 1:30 pm

    Giles and I went to Great America in May. We brought our food. The guy at the front was all – you can’t bring in food – then got this little gleam in his eye and said “unleeeesssss…..” So I immediately said – hey I have a food allergy. And he was all – be on your way with your way better food, miss. I would have been totally grouchy about carrying it around all day, but Saint Giles did it for me and we put the backpack in lockers before the rides. By my calculations we saved one million dollars on food……

  2. August 6, 2010 at 3:37 pm

    I took a few sips of the kids multiple varieties of Icee flavors. All tasted like fruit flavored piss


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Heather Moran

Crazed sulfite-free woman.

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