04
Feb
11

Pump Fake (quite literally)


Today was my training with Thor for my first Embrel injection.

What we learned today:  I am a suckass wimp.

And so is Thor.

I had to go in to get my first shot shot today of this new biologic drug that is supposed to not only make me feel better, but basically make me symptom-free.  Which is just about perfect timing as yesterday I was calling friends to see if anyone had a cane lying around that I could borrow to walk around.  Jeez, Louise.

So we get there and because insurance is so annoying, they had to give me a sample.  They get me all prepped, (Thor was supposed to give it to me but he “assured” me that it was probably best and easier if I do it a.k.a.  Thor=pussy.)  Alright, so he’s not a pussy, he is very sweet,.  I am just trying to make myself  look better.

So I have to drop my pants

and get up on the table with Thor and Dr. Rheumy and Nurse Nice.  (She is very nice and helpful.)  Dropping trough in front of strangers is never fun.  And I wished that I hadn’t worn “that” underwear.

My rheumy is french and rather, well, hot.  And she is a very, very smart blonde and I have a feeling she can also really cook.  So she is trying to instruct me how to do it and I have to take the alcohol swab and rub it in a certain direction and then I do it but I bump my hand on it and I have “contaminated” the area we has just swabbed so we have to re-swab and well, there were a lot of disappointed french sounds being uttered but she was being as patient as she could be with a blonde trying to give herself her first injection.

And do I finally and do and it was cake! So Easy!  Didn’t hurt in the least!

Cause it was defective.

Total dud.  Absolute pump fake.  HEY!  Sue that pharmaceutical salesmen and let me kick his ass because now we have to wait another 10 minutes for the next sample to cool down and do shove it in my other thigh.

I put my pants back on and Thor and I stared at each other for another 10 minutes.

I know it worked the second time cause it freaken hurt.  And it takes about 15 seconds for it to all get in there so yeah, ow.  But I am a warrior and I plowed through.

“Oh Embrel, course through my body, heal all wounds and swollen joints, help me walk pup the stairs without tripping and falling into the wall.”
So far, so good.  I seem a bit more tired than usual, but I am not bleeding about the eyes and ears and that’s all that really matters.  The only really important thing is that I cannot get sick.  Really.  Like, don’t sneeze near me or touch me if you have an infection or rub on me if you are pussy or leaking anything.  And really just don’t ever really rub on me in any situation.

I was worried because I have heard that the quick pen version of how my meds are injected has preservatives in it but so far, so good.  I have read where some sulfitenots use the version of the drug where they have to mix it themselves and shoot it that way and that is just a little bit too Sid and Nancy for me, so I hope this one works…

I still have to stay on my steroids for now, and i think they mask a lot of my sulfite reactions, so I will continue to gain weight as I have been cheating and sneaking some little things here and there.  Like blonde oreos…cause…well…you know…

Happy weekend to all!
XO

Heather

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1 Response to “Pump Fake (quite literally)”


  1. 1 Abbie
    February 4, 2011 at 9:04 pm

    Good luck with the Embrel! I am totally with Thor on that one! I had a friend on the mix it up and use a needle you have to stick in 2″ deep kind (ten years ago – don’t think they had the pump available). She came to visit and knew she couldn’t do it herself. I told her I would help her and really thought I wouldn’t have a problem (as I had to check my blood sugar and had no issues with that). I am embarrassed to say I totally ended up wussing out and my boyfriend at the time ended up having to help her do it (which was interesting because as you say, underwear is involved). Ahhh, good times! I hope it works and really helps you out!


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Heather Moran

Crazed sulfite-free woman.

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