16
Aug
11

The Sulfite Addiction. And other rants.



It’s like crack.

This addiction to sulfites.

It’s making me an insane woman.  I mean, MORE insane.

I almost long for the days when I would get a reaction that would disable me.  Then I would be forced to avoid everything I can’t eat like the plague.  Now it takes a really large amount of sulfites to effect my RA on the OUTSIDE.  So I cheat and I slowly feel like crapola.

Here is my sulfite haiku:

food with sulfites

shoved in mouth

walk with limp

***********************************

Seriously, who is with me here?  It’s like any diet.  I do okay in the morning.   I am a spitfire of self-control and will power.  But then my light starts to flicker just the ttttiiiiiiiiiiiinneeeesssttt bit near lunch time when I have to make the kids’ food.  So I make the grilled cheese.  My picky children (say outloud with whiniest voice possible) “…need the crusts off…..ppllleeaasee Mommy?”

NO NO NO because MOMMY WILL EAT THE CRUSTS.  THE LITTLE CHEESE-FILLED PIECES OF CRUSTS, WHERE THE CHEESE OOZES OUT THE SIDES.

Cheese that used to render me a virtual paraplegic from the neck down before my meds came into my life.

Now, it’s a slow poisoning.  It’s a gradual bloat all day. By dinner, I am practically shoving olives, laced with vinegar, garlic and jelly in my mouth. I look in the mirror before bed, and I stare at the moon pie face.  And I feel nothing but guilt for sneaking grilled cheese crusties into my mouth…or a few left over nuggets…

It’s like a drug addiction. True dat.

I NEVER considered myself having a food addiction.  Facebook?  Hello, obvious.  Booze?  Sure, why not.  Sex?  Thor wishes.  But, food has never been a really big thing for me.  I don’t care where or what I eat, as long as my tummy doesn’t hurt and I get rid of my low blood sugar grumpies.  But I am addicted to the sulfite DRUGS that are put in our food to keep them from getting moldy.

I have been thinking about trying this HcG diet, but because of some of my medical problems, I am weary.  and SELF! Wake up!  (Smacking myself on the head.)  I don’t need to do anything but eat clean again.

Why is it so hard? whywhywhywhywhy

Summer’s End and a beaten shell of a woman.

I am so tired.  I am a broken woman from this summer.  Done.  Flip me over, take me off the grill, I have had it.  I love my babies but I long for routine, organization, a clean house, a moment to cry and minute to go to the bathroom without someone walking in on me with the DVD case, asking me to put on a movie.  THEY NEED TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL.

There.  I said it.  Hey, lady..you…over there, PerfectMom…shaking your head. Stop being horrified.  I said what most mothers are thinking right now, but are too worried about being labeled as a bad mother to admit it.

I think some people who don’t get it or don’t want to understand might look at me and say:  “Oh.  Boo.  Poor shell of a woman.  I feel so bad for you that you got to stay home and go to the pool 3 days a week and go to Great America and wear your jammies until 10am and not be in an office.”

And I do love my job.

Correction: Job(S).

Besides the fact that I run a small Entertainment PR firm from my office, I perform as a vocalist and I have over 15 vocal students, I also “work from home” as a mommy and I have to say that my office is not THAT different from other offices where I have worked.  Except:

  • The water cooler is fulled with Cherry Capri Suns
  • My bosses are all under the ages of 12 and they are also my clients.  They can also be intimidating.
  • All  traveling occurs in a dying minivan with little people whipping skittles at my head, yelling at me to turn up the volume on the movie
  • My printer is jammed with 147 print-outs of Hello Kitty coloring pages
  • My work luncheons occur at the snack area of Target
  • All office supplies are made by Crayola
  • I network at the pool
  • The conference room apparently has a toilet in it.

Perks:  Bambi makes me beautiful pictures to decorate my office and helps oversee the “small neighborhood children running all over my house” department. 

Cracker lightens up the office atmosphere with giggles, dancing, messing up every room 12 minutes after I have cleaned it and changing her outfits multiple times a day.

  Alpha is definitely Head of Security, training on the Xbox and learning how to whack people with lacrosse sticks. 

We can’t forget the independent contractors:  (Or sometimes referred to as the workers in the “small neighborhood children running all over my house” department.) The multitudes of little neighborhood children (who I love).  These little cutie pies are constantly stopping in the house for little meetings.  The topics of these are usually strategizing about pulling out every toy in the house and throwing it on the floor, presentations painted on rugs with nail polish and snack breaks every 15 minutes to eat all the food we have in the house.  (These are, of course, supported practices, as most of MY little people in this office are doing them same thing over at their offices.)

Thor always wins employee of the day for coming home from his bigger office job and helps me sort out this hot mess over here.

  I love my co-workers.

  And after my shift is over, when hopefully the house is straightened, the dishes are  in the washer, lights are off and doors are locked ,Thor and I can crawl into bed.

It’s a charming scenario: me, happily sipping my chardonnay and Thor, quietly wanting to kill me for making him watch Toddlers and Tiaras.  No one said life is easy, but dayum, it sure is good.

Happy Anniversary Simple Dude!  I am a proud Simpleton.

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5 Responses to “The Sulfite Addiction. And other rants.”


  1. August 16, 2011 at 3:55 pm

    HI honey, love the post and I love you! We both are eating better and I am very proud of you! School is a week away, bring it on!

    Always,
    Thor

  2. 2 Tracy
    August 16, 2011 at 7:41 pm

    Well – of course you are addicted – we crave the foods we are allergic to you – scientific fact! I found that it took about a week and a half of hard core abstinence for the worst of the physical cravings to go away and about a month total before I just think – meh – whenever I think of eating a sulfited food. And after a year of only occasional mistakes I can actually smell the food and not care. I kind of miss cheese. I sort of miss onions and garlic and vinegar. I miss some specific combinations like – sushi or quesadillas with guac. But – other than that – yep, it is a true addictive craving and you will get over it once it clears your system.

    The emotional aspect of it – well let’s just say I was diagnosed 2.5 years ago, and it has only been in the last year that I only make occasional mistakes, you know? For a year and a half I tried to figure out a way around it. And I didn’t. So – I just decided one day. And it got better. A lot better. And it will be way easier to cook when the kids are back in school. But until you stop cheating – that craving will be damn near impossible to resist. I wish I could tell you something different – but I went through this same thing. The best is when the “sense of doom” lifts for the first time in forever – it will make it way easier to be good after that. Because the bottom line is – the first thing that happens when you eat a food you are allergic to is your body releases endorphins. And you feel like a rock star. After feeling so goddamn bad. And just a little more makes you feel a little better. Until the reaction kicks in. And you feel horrible and you stay up all night cursing the fact that you cheated. And you get up exhausted and try to tough it out until you hit a point where you feel normal – except it isn’t normal – it is just the low grade reaction part. And then – a food that will make you feel like a rock star comes along. And so on. Sound familiar? Cut yourself some slack – this is the roughest part. I am thinking of you, stay strong!

  3. January 9, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    I’m a work at home mommy struggling with sulfite allergy (intolerance)? You are describing my day to a T. Cheated big time over the weekend (my raspberry filled chocolate candy from Christmas is calling to me from the dining room, but so far I have resisted).

    I’m sooo hungry! (And tired of eating avocado sprout sandwhiches, rice krispies and baked potatoes). Keep posting and experimenting with recipes! (Helps me know I am not alone and helps my horrible cooking skills/ideas).

    mmm … grilled chees crusts …

    • January 9, 2012 at 9:49 pm

      Katherine!
      Welcome!
      I am so crazed, I haven’t posted for a bit, but I am getting back on track here after a long holiday and a long vacation to Florida, which was filled with very copious amounts of sulfites. GAH! I look like a pufferish!! Stay tuned for more goofballery!!

  4. February 6, 2012 at 12:32 pm

    I’m a new follower and fellow sulfite sufferer (also MSG). I just discovered that it’s sulfites that cause my anxiety attacks and heart palps. It’s the worst feeling in the world and I’m scared of eating the wrong thing, scared of the next attack. Thank you for sharing your experiences it helps to know I’m not alone.


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Heather Moran

Crazed sulfite-free woman.

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