Posts Tagged ‘cream of asparagus soup

30
Jun
10

Why there is asparagus on my camera.


There is officially something wrong with me in the kitchen.

It’s not funny.  I can’t cook anything.  It’s like a genetic disorder.  I try SO hard.  I really really really concentrate and I lay everything out neatly and I read the recipe, kinda.

I tried to make cream of asparagus soup yesterday for lunch.  I was so hungry, you guys.  And I wanted to make a big batch, some to eat and some to freeze.  I bought this gorgeous asparagus and the Libertville Farmer’s market with the recipe in mind.  But the kids were all up in my get up and the phone kept ringing and and then Thor took them outside for a little bit because he saw that my hair was standing on end.  Alpha had a bunch of buddies over and they were playing a pick-up game of street hockey on the cul-de-sac and the girls were making the neighborhood rounds, so I was ALONE for 5 glorious minutes.

I simmered the soup and it was looking and smelling quite gorgeous.  I was SALAVATING.  I needed to puree it so I put it in the blender.  My new glass blender.  And I pureed it for a minute until it mother truckin BLEW UP

Photographer cried while taking this picture.

Oh wait, here is a burn on my leg.

My legs look fat but their really not that fat. Serious.

PEOPLE.  SULFITE ALLERGY SUFFERERS AND EVERYONE ELSE.  This is not a joke.  I am not trying to be totally sucky at cooking.  I really just really really am very very sucky.

I totally burst out crying.  I burnt my LEG.  I wailed and keened and whispered to myself…”That’s ok.  I’ll just (SOB) BLOG IT!!!! (SOB SOB SOB)”  And I grabbed my camera.  And got asparagus on it.

I was able to scrounge literally one little cup of it.  And I picked the little asparagus tip garish off the floor and rubbed it on my soiled shirt.

For what it’s worth….

cream of crazy woman soup

and I know it looks like ass, but it actually tasted really fricken good.  And it also was seasoned with the salt of my tears. I will post the recipe tomorrow when I have fully recovered my sanity, my patience and my will to live.

The good news is today I made an outstanding mango salsa and no one was burned, no one cried and no one had to throw away any appliances….will post that recipe tomorrow….OLE!!!!

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Heather Moran

Crazed sulfite-free woman.

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