Posts Tagged ‘food allergy

17
Oct
11

She Can Lift Her Head Off The Table.


Now that I have then strength to lift my head off the table, it’s time for me to fill you in on my sulfite-free FAD DIET progress.

Official status report: SUPERFREAKINAWESOME.

ok, so I have to admit, the first three days was like walking around carrying 3 bloated elephants wearing fat suits.  BRU-to the-TAL.  But I eventually got the rhythm of everything and I.FEEL.FANTASTIC.

Mostly, probably, because I am clean.  Not sulfites or booze for 8 days.  There is not one sulfite iota in me.  (Lie.  Our body makes natural sulfites.)  But I am not intentionally putting anything in me and I feel like I could fly.  (Apparently, there may be some traces of college-age LCD.)

Down 13 pounds, too.

I did have a major RA flare-up for 5 of those days, but that is because I was late taking my shot, thinking that I might not need it anymore.  Sometimes, I am a ridiculous person.

So, unnamed fad diet working.  I am not really hungry on it, that is the trick with it, I think.  But mostly, I see the others around me not GAINING and I think that is the whole key to this thing. Whatever, still not endorsing.  Still not divulging.  It’s really no big deal because the point is that I am clean and losing weight.  Once I get through this little test of endurance, I will be back to clean living and hope I can naturally and slowly lose the rest of the weight.  This, so far, is a nice springboard.  BOINGGGGGG………

I think one of the reasons that I am doing too well on it is because I am used to being already a bit deprived having a sulfite allergy.  I am used to having to make my food, even when I am really hungry.  It feels good again to know what I am putting in my mouth is good for me.

I have some recipes that I am going to pop up for everyone and some of them are quite delicious.  I just had me some chili that was scrumptious!!  Lots of chicken, lots of fish, ground turkey, some meat…yummy veggies and fruits.

Pros: feeling great, losing weight, not hungry, great feeling of accomplishment

Cons: I miss booze.

Come back later and check out some of the recipes.  I am going to type some up now.   Bon Appétit, sulfite-nots!

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22
Aug
11

THE BLONDE CHILI ADVENTURE


*Please see bottom for photo analysis.

or otherwise known as How I Made Crockpot Sulfite-Free Chili Yesterday And It Took Me 12 Hours.  This is not the title of the recipe for a blonde chili, like, made with all yellow ingredients.  This is like, a blonde totally screwed up this recipe.  This easy, three step, a blind hamster could make this recipe, recipe.  Just to clarify.

We are not going to dwell right now on the fact that it took me an extra 4 hours to make this edible.  Let’s just not go there, because I am too menstrual to hover in the abyss.

This is a nice vegetarian, very easy and quick chili recipe…next time I am going to add some ground turkey and I am going to try really, really hard to do a better job.

Vegetarian Chili

Ingredients:

15 ounces kidney beans

15 ounces black beans

5 ounces white beans

1 can ORGANIC diced tomatoes

diced green chili pepper

1 cup organic chicken broth

1 tbsp chili powder

1 tsp cumin

salt and pepper as needed

Daisy sour cream to dollop on top before serving (IF you can manage this…some sulfite-nots cannot, so beware)

  1. The night before, soak beans separately, covering with water, overnight.  Make sure to pick out the ugly stepchild beans that don’t belong.  They can eventually make the end result mushy.
  2. Add the soaked beans in the crock-pot with the can of tomatoes, chopped-up chili pepper, chicken broth; salt and pepper.
  3. Let it sit there on low for about 8 hours, but please check on it.  You may need to add a bit more broth.  We don’t want a repeat of this, do we?


I am ready to talk about what happened now; Advil kicking in.  This chili was good, don’t get me wrong.  Thor not only took it to work the next day, but he had another bowl of it for lunch on Saturday, right in front of me.  I saw him put it in his mouth and he didn’t even spit it in the sink.  This is what actually occured.  When combining ingredients, I thought I was being cutesie and culinarily adorable** when I substituted a can of diced tomatoes.  I decided to just chop up a tomato and chuck it in there.  After checking on it at the 7th hour, it was like the Sahara on a bad day.

Not me. But...me.

Apparently, I needed the juice from the can and didn’t put extra water in the crockpot.  I quicky added a few cups of water and saved the bastard, but I telling you right now that it was a close one.  And this blonde needs a  I need a vacation.

********************************************************************************************************

*This drawing is reedonkulous.

Things that are wrong with this picture:

  • That’s supposed to be a pan with bacon and eggs. It looks like a tennis racket with an upside-down grumpy face.
  • I cant even eat bacon and eggs.
  • It looks like I am wearing 2 breast implants with a see-through skirt.
  • Don’t you hate it when you get black on the tip of your yellow highlighter pen?
  • I don’t look very upset.
  • I wish I was that skinny.

**culinarily adorable[adj]

cu·li·nar·il·y [ kúllə nèrr ill ee ] a·dor·a·ble [ ə dáwrəb’l ]

Sweet, lovable, endearing, huggable in the kitchen when substituting ingredients, thinking that is acceptable when you really just outright suck.

Last week while making pesto, Heather was culinarily adorable when she thought she could substitute 2 cloves of garlic with 4 cups of sugar. 

Sidenote:  In regards to my first caption picture: you can look at the word “analysis” 50 times and it STILL doesn’t seem right.  I mean it has the word anal in it and you don’t ever want to willingly use the word anal, unless you are talking about…anal stuff…especially when you are typing a recipe.

Was that Advil I just took?  Or 3 Vicodin?  Hm.

16
Aug
11

The Sulfite Addiction. And other rants.



It’s like crack.

This addiction to sulfites.

It’s making me an insane woman.  I mean, MORE insane.

I almost long for the days when I would get a reaction that would disable me.  Then I would be forced to avoid everything I can’t eat like the plague.  Now it takes a really large amount of sulfites to effect my RA on the OUTSIDE.  So I cheat and I slowly feel like crapola.

Here is my sulfite haiku:

food with sulfites

shoved in mouth

walk with limp

***********************************

Seriously, who is with me here?  It’s like any diet.  I do okay in the morning.   I am a spitfire of self-control and will power.  But then my light starts to flicker just the ttttiiiiiiiiiiiinneeeesssttt bit near lunch time when I have to make the kids’ food.  So I make the grilled cheese.  My picky children (say outloud with whiniest voice possible) “…need the crusts off…..ppllleeaasee Mommy?”

NO NO NO because MOMMY WILL EAT THE CRUSTS.  THE LITTLE CHEESE-FILLED PIECES OF CRUSTS, WHERE THE CHEESE OOZES OUT THE SIDES.

Cheese that used to render me a virtual paraplegic from the neck down before my meds came into my life.

Now, it’s a slow poisoning.  It’s a gradual bloat all day. By dinner, I am practically shoving olives, laced with vinegar, garlic and jelly in my mouth. I look in the mirror before bed, and I stare at the moon pie face.  And I feel nothing but guilt for sneaking grilled cheese crusties into my mouth…or a few left over nuggets…

It’s like a drug addiction. True dat.

I NEVER considered myself having a food addiction.  Facebook?  Hello, obvious.  Booze?  Sure, why not.  Sex?  Thor wishes.  But, food has never been a really big thing for me.  I don’t care where or what I eat, as long as my tummy doesn’t hurt and I get rid of my low blood sugar grumpies.  But I am addicted to the sulfite DRUGS that are put in our food to keep them from getting moldy.

I have been thinking about trying this HcG diet, but because of some of my medical problems, I am weary.  and SELF! Wake up!  (Smacking myself on the head.)  I don’t need to do anything but eat clean again.

Why is it so hard? whywhywhywhywhy

Summer’s End and a beaten shell of a woman.

I am so tired.  I am a broken woman from this summer.  Done.  Flip me over, take me off the grill, I have had it.  I love my babies but I long for routine, organization, a clean house, a moment to cry and minute to go to the bathroom without someone walking in on me with the DVD case, asking me to put on a movie.  THEY NEED TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL.

There.  I said it.  Hey, lady..you…over there, PerfectMom…shaking your head. Stop being horrified.  I said what most mothers are thinking right now, but are too worried about being labeled as a bad mother to admit it.

I think some people who don’t get it or don’t want to understand might look at me and say:  “Oh.  Boo.  Poor shell of a woman.  I feel so bad for you that you got to stay home and go to the pool 3 days a week and go to Great America and wear your jammies until 10am and not be in an office.”

And I do love my job.

Correction: Job(S).

Besides the fact that I run a small Entertainment PR firm from my office, I perform as a vocalist and I have over 15 vocal students, I also “work from home” as a mommy and I have to say that my office is not THAT different from other offices where I have worked.  Except:

  • The water cooler is fulled with Cherry Capri Suns
  • My bosses are all under the ages of 12 and they are also my clients.  They can also be intimidating.
  • All  traveling occurs in a dying minivan with little people whipping skittles at my head, yelling at me to turn up the volume on the movie
  • My printer is jammed with 147 print-outs of Hello Kitty coloring pages
  • My work luncheons occur at the snack area of Target
  • All office supplies are made by Crayola
  • I network at the pool
  • The conference room apparently has a toilet in it.

Perks:  Bambi makes me beautiful pictures to decorate my office and helps oversee the “small neighborhood children running all over my house” department. 

Cracker lightens up the office atmosphere with giggles, dancing, messing up every room 12 minutes after I have cleaned it and changing her outfits multiple times a day.

  Alpha is definitely Head of Security, training on the Xbox and learning how to whack people with lacrosse sticks. 

We can’t forget the independent contractors:  (Or sometimes referred to as the workers in the “small neighborhood children running all over my house” department.) The multitudes of little neighborhood children (who I love).  These little cutie pies are constantly stopping in the house for little meetings.  The topics of these are usually strategizing about pulling out every toy in the house and throwing it on the floor, presentations painted on rugs with nail polish and snack breaks every 15 minutes to eat all the food we have in the house.  (These are, of course, supported practices, as most of MY little people in this office are doing them same thing over at their offices.)

Thor always wins employee of the day for coming home from his bigger office job and helps me sort out this hot mess over here.

  I love my co-workers.

  And after my shift is over, when hopefully the house is straightened, the dishes are  in the washer, lights are off and doors are locked ,Thor and I can crawl into bed.

It’s a charming scenario: me, happily sipping my chardonnay and Thor, quietly wanting to kill me for making him watch Toddlers and Tiaras.  No one said life is easy, but dayum, it sure is good.

Happy Anniversary Simple Dude!  I am a proud Simpleton.

19
Jun
10

The Return of the Heatherita.


My cousins Blanche and Astroguy have added a drink to their barracho’s Basement Bar menu recently, called the “Heatherita”

It’s tequila with Fresca, a ton of ice and fresh squeezed lime.  It’s the perfect summer refreshing drink.  Sadly, one of the first reactions I had was from tequila so I had to stop drinking them, but the cocktail lives on, still consumed by millions.  (or the 4 people in their basement.)

Last night, out with another cousin, aka Runnermom, I was up in arms about what to drink. We were sitting outside after a huge storm at the tiki bar at a local restaurant on the lake by my house.  It was a gorgeous night.  I told the bartender of my allergy and he surprisingly didn’t roll his eyes.  They didn’t serve Sierra Nevada outside because it was in a bottle, but he could try to make a 1800 tequila concoction for me outside.  He actually had agave nectar out there, which was very cool…so he put a shot of the tequila over the ice, some agave, squeezed a bunch of limes and topped it with a little water and it was good…it was…a HEATHERITA!

YAY!  I can drink at a bar!

Then we were getting the buzz munchies so I looked at their menu and saw fish tacos.  I reminded the bartender that I had this allergy but as long as they put ecerything on the side, I should be ok.  Then the manager of the restaurant actually came out to talk to me and was SO sweet.  She made sure to ask me all about my allergy and they brought out the tacos.

DAYUM.  The mahi mahi was covered with seasoning.  I forgot to tell them not to put anything on it.  My bad.  It came with these really nice na’an bread thingies so I just ate that with some fresh avocado and it was ok, but it really was my fault.  Oh well, it’s a learning process for me and now I know…at least I had good company and my cocktail….
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17
Jun
10

Let’s Play the “Can I Have?” Game!


Hello, hello, hello….and thank you for stopping in to play” the “what the hell can I eat” game!!!

Round one starts like this: I am just going to throw a list out into the world…and anyone who knows the answer, let me know.  This is how clueless I am.  This list may grow from time to time, so keep coming back to check and see if anyone has helped….if you have any questions yourself, you sulfite-free heads, let me know in the comment section and I will try to find out for you.

Are these things sulfite-free?

goat cheese

tomatoes

radishes

agave nectar

butter

eggs

La Croix (or any carbonated water)

any pop?  At ALL?

dates

all berries?

fresh beets

xanthan gum

potato starch

tapioca starch

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Heather Moran

Crazed sulfite-free woman.

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