Posts Tagged ‘food

05
Oct
11

FAD DIET 101: Sure, I’ll bite.


Call me SpiderHead.


I have been absent.

I have been…not great.

I have been losing the war on sulfites and the HeatherWorld War on general good health.

I have been poked and prodded a lot lately, as well.

My liver is pissed at me (due to my RA meds), I gained a really large amount of weight in a short amount of time, I am exhausted and hypoglycemic.  My cholesterol jumped and my RA comes creeping in every once in awhile like a sneaky, angry bitch.  I am having thyroid issues and my body has decided to go on strike.

So there.

I am going to do what I NEVER usually do, and that is go on a fad diet.  I am not going to name the fad diet (1)because I am not endorsing anything I don’t believe in yet and (2) I don’t want to hear bitching from other people. (Please take note.)

I know that the best way for me to lose weight is a slow lifestyle change.   It worked for me before.  But I need a kickstart and quick.   (Did you SEE the photos of all 4 of my chins in the Winnetka Current article?)

I am about to enter my busy season:  lots of gigs and performances.  I need to be healthy, have energy and be able fit my fat ass into some serious formal wear.  It’s crunch time, bitches.

The diet is sulfite-free and very extreme, but I can do ANYTHING for a month.  Massive detox.  I will take one for the team and be a guinea pig.  And no one can talk me out of it.  I have gotten the approval of the diet from my endocrinologist and my Gynie, so I feel ok to press on. My dear friend just had much success on it and she  is going to hold my hand, as well as my cousin Apricot, who is doing it with me. Thor is being very supportive; I am bound to be a wildebeest for the next few weeks, so good luck to him.

So, here we go…I start this weekend, my goal is 20 pounds and if my thyroid issues prevent this from happening, which I have been warned they might, then onto the next thing.  Worth a try.

Will try to keep updated tabs…and post any recipes that we sulfite-nots can use.  Lots of fish, lots of chicken, lots of veggies and buttloads of water.  I am hoping to get my liver numbers and my cholesterol numbers down, as well as a good kick start.  Wish me luck, please send positive vibes and here’s hoping I can bring some helpful things to the table!

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22
Aug
11

THE BLONDE CHILI ADVENTURE


*Please see bottom for photo analysis.

or otherwise known as How I Made Crockpot Sulfite-Free Chili Yesterday And It Took Me 12 Hours.  This is not the title of the recipe for a blonde chili, like, made with all yellow ingredients.  This is like, a blonde totally screwed up this recipe.  This easy, three step, a blind hamster could make this recipe, recipe.  Just to clarify.

We are not going to dwell right now on the fact that it took me an extra 4 hours to make this edible.  Let’s just not go there, because I am too menstrual to hover in the abyss.

This is a nice vegetarian, very easy and quick chili recipe…next time I am going to add some ground turkey and I am going to try really, really hard to do a better job.

Vegetarian Chili

Ingredients:

15 ounces kidney beans

15 ounces black beans

5 ounces white beans

1 can ORGANIC diced tomatoes

diced green chili pepper

1 cup organic chicken broth

1 tbsp chili powder

1 tsp cumin

salt and pepper as needed

Daisy sour cream to dollop on top before serving (IF you can manage this…some sulfite-nots cannot, so beware)

  1. The night before, soak beans separately, covering with water, overnight.  Make sure to pick out the ugly stepchild beans that don’t belong.  They can eventually make the end result mushy.
  2. Add the soaked beans in the crock-pot with the can of tomatoes, chopped-up chili pepper, chicken broth; salt and pepper.
  3. Let it sit there on low for about 8 hours, but please check on it.  You may need to add a bit more broth.  We don’t want a repeat of this, do we?


I am ready to talk about what happened now; Advil kicking in.  This chili was good, don’t get me wrong.  Thor not only took it to work the next day, but he had another bowl of it for lunch on Saturday, right in front of me.  I saw him put it in his mouth and he didn’t even spit it in the sink.  This is what actually occured.  When combining ingredients, I thought I was being cutesie and culinarily adorable** when I substituted a can of diced tomatoes.  I decided to just chop up a tomato and chuck it in there.  After checking on it at the 7th hour, it was like the Sahara on a bad day.

Not me. But...me.

Apparently, I needed the juice from the can and didn’t put extra water in the crockpot.  I quicky added a few cups of water and saved the bastard, but I telling you right now that it was a close one.  And this blonde needs a  I need a vacation.

********************************************************************************************************

*This drawing is reedonkulous.

Things that are wrong with this picture:

  • That’s supposed to be a pan with bacon and eggs. It looks like a tennis racket with an upside-down grumpy face.
  • I cant even eat bacon and eggs.
  • It looks like I am wearing 2 breast implants with a see-through skirt.
  • Don’t you hate it when you get black on the tip of your yellow highlighter pen?
  • I don’t look very upset.
  • I wish I was that skinny.

**culinarily adorable[adj]

cu·li·nar·il·y [ kúllə nèrr ill ee ] a·dor·a·ble [ ə dáwrəb’l ]

Sweet, lovable, endearing, huggable in the kitchen when substituting ingredients, thinking that is acceptable when you really just outright suck.

Last week while making pesto, Heather was culinarily adorable when she thought she could substitute 2 cloves of garlic with 4 cups of sugar. 

Sidenote:  In regards to my first caption picture: you can look at the word “analysis” 50 times and it STILL doesn’t seem right.  I mean it has the word anal in it and you don’t ever want to willingly use the word anal, unless you are talking about…anal stuff…especially when you are typing a recipe.

Was that Advil I just took?  Or 3 Vicodin?  Hm.

18
Aug
11

Blueberry Vinegar


My favorite thing about this pic is Cracker crying over smell.

I don’t normally “out” my kids on here with a picture,  but this could not be avoided.

I got this fun and easy recipe from recipe.com

Ingredients that you will need:

1 1/2 cups fresh bluberries

2 cups rice vinegar

2 tbsp honey

will need jar or bottle with non-metallic lid**

  1. Put the blueberries and vinegar in stainless steel or enamel saucepan. Bring to boiling; reduce heat.
  2. simmered, uncovered for about 3 minutes
  3. stir in honey
  4. remove from heat
  5. drain mixture with fine strainer, getting out all solid matter and toss all that crap in the garbage
  6. transfer the liquid to a clear bottle or jar.  If the cover has any steel on it, put plastic wrap (i sued a baggie over the top) then put the top on  and let it sit for 24 hours.

You need to store this in a cool, dark place and you can keep it for up to 6 months…make sure to remove any blueberries that may be left in there before you use.

Really nice and different taste for a light salad dressing mixed with a little EVOO…Mangi!  Mangi!

**I did a little research about this and it turns out that the acid in the vinegar will corrode any metal.

Veeerrrryyyy Interesting!!!!

//

31
Jul
11

Introducing a wonderful new website….


CHECK IT OUT

TA DA!!!!

A new website!

 

 

 

http://holdthesulfites.com/

It’s awesome, ya’all.

My friend Tracy, who I met through my awesome Dr. Unger, is my Sulfite-not Guru.  She has put together a really informative and easy to navigate website for peeps like us and she really has developed superior knowledge on the subject.  It also helps that she is also really handy in the kitchen.  She often helps me out on here with some great comments and suggestions, so make sure you add her to your useful site links.

I personally am looking for updated things to make, since I am starting up tomorrow on detox and eating clean again.  Thor is starting on his journey to lose 40 pounds by his 40th birthday in May.  It should get pretty interesting around here.

So I am making my shopping list for the week and I am making my meals list.

I am going to start by making a whole chicken today (with an apple shoved right in the cavity, thanks to Tracy’s suggestion…YOWZA).

EXCUSE ME. DO I KNOW YOU?

I will then save the broth and make a tortilla-esque soup (without the tortillas.  Should be a travesty.  Will take pictures.)

I am on a kick right now making smoothies with Greek yogurt, a bit of milk, frozen organic mix of berries, a banana and a touch of honey.  I will continue to mix that up for breakfast with some homemade bread I have cooking now…I usually put honey on that…breakfast is hard and I was thrilled to see a mouth-watering, spicy option on Tracy’s site…spicy sausage, so I am going to give that a try as well this week.

I love me some artichokes so I I am going to have that for lunch one day…and I will probably stick to salads with some of the Sunday chicken I am going to make.  I make my own lemon based dressing with fresh herbs from the garden.  I got addicted to Hidden Valley ranch again and for some CRAZY reason, it doesn’t seem to affect me, except making my ass really, really FAT.

Baked potatoes are great for lunch as well….and I am going to try some Hormel chicken breast lunch meat and maybe the ham for sammies…I hear that they are sulfite-free and people have had success with them.  That would be great in a salad, as well.

Dinners are going to be interesting because Thor is going to need to eat lean and I am trying to eat clean.  So I can have a nice whopping steak and he can only have one the size of Bambi’s fist.  Poor Thor.  It will be interesting all around to have to please all 5 eaters in this house that have restrictions.  The girls are just plain picky as hell.  Although,  Alpha, God love him, will eat anything…

Things I can’t do:

*Cut of the crust on everyone’s grilled cheese sammies and shove them in my mouth.  Then say, “Oh my.  I forgot to eat lunch.”  Wake up, fat ass.  You did, and it was a sulfite pit of hell.

*Do well all day and then blow it while watching Project Runway with a handful of Cheeze It’s at 9:45pm

*go ANYWHERE without some approved food with me.  The pool is Satan’s Sulfite Haven for cheating.  The snack bar literally has not one thing that I can eat, but I go there every day and if I forget to bring something to eat, I am lunging for a piece of pizza or sneaking nachos and evil cheese from my poor children, while yelling, “Bambi!  Look over there!” They hate me when I do that.  And I hate me, too.

*Forget that, even though my joints are not swelling to a point of paralysis, what I put in my mouth is making me very sick still.  So self, don’t F*ck up.  Love me.  Take care of me.  Let’s get some Stuart Smalley all up in here, lady.  It’s time to rock this OUT!

THE GREAT EXPERIMENT

I am hoping to have a phone meeting with my pal, THE VOICE, to get her on the same page.  We are avoiding each other because we do not want to take “before” shots.  And I don’t blame us.

Have a great rest of the weekend, all!!




Heather Moran

Crazed sulfite-free woman.

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