Posts Tagged ‘sulfite allergy

17
Oct
11

She Can Lift Her Head Off The Table.


Now that I have then strength to lift my head off the table, it’s time for me to fill you in on my sulfite-free FAD DIET progress.

Official status report: SUPERFREAKINAWESOME.

ok, so I have to admit, the first three days was like walking around carrying 3 bloated elephants wearing fat suits.  BRU-to the-TAL.  But I eventually got the rhythm of everything and I.FEEL.FANTASTIC.

Mostly, probably, because I am clean.  Not sulfites or booze for 8 days.  There is not one sulfite iota in me.  (Lie.  Our body makes natural sulfites.)  But I am not intentionally putting anything in me and I feel like I could fly.  (Apparently, there may be some traces of college-age LCD.)

Down 13 pounds, too.

I did have a major RA flare-up for 5 of those days, but that is because I was late taking my shot, thinking that I might not need it anymore.  Sometimes, I am a ridiculous person.

So, unnamed fad diet working.  I am not really hungry on it, that is the trick with it, I think.  But mostly, I see the others around me not GAINING and I think that is the whole key to this thing. Whatever, still not endorsing.  Still not divulging.  It’s really no big deal because the point is that I am clean and losing weight.  Once I get through this little test of endurance, I will be back to clean living and hope I can naturally and slowly lose the rest of the weight.  This, so far, is a nice springboard.  BOINGGGGGG………

I think one of the reasons that I am doing too well on it is because I am used to being already a bit deprived having a sulfite allergy.  I am used to having to make my food, even when I am really hungry.  It feels good again to know what I am putting in my mouth is good for me.

I have some recipes that I am going to pop up for everyone and some of them are quite delicious.  I just had me some chili that was scrumptious!!  Lots of chicken, lots of fish, ground turkey, some meat…yummy veggies and fruits.

Pros: feeling great, losing weight, not hungry, great feeling of accomplishment

Cons: I miss booze.

Come back later and check out some of the recipes.  I am going to type some up now.   Bon Appétit, sulfite-nots!

22
Aug
11

THE BLONDE CHILI ADVENTURE


*Please see bottom for photo analysis.

or otherwise known as How I Made Crockpot Sulfite-Free Chili Yesterday And It Took Me 12 Hours.  This is not the title of the recipe for a blonde chili, like, made with all yellow ingredients.  This is like, a blonde totally screwed up this recipe.  This easy, three step, a blind hamster could make this recipe, recipe.  Just to clarify.

We are not going to dwell right now on the fact that it took me an extra 4 hours to make this edible.  Let’s just not go there, because I am too menstrual to hover in the abyss.

This is a nice vegetarian, very easy and quick chili recipe…next time I am going to add some ground turkey and I am going to try really, really hard to do a better job.

Vegetarian Chili

Ingredients:

15 ounces kidney beans

15 ounces black beans

5 ounces white beans

1 can ORGANIC diced tomatoes

diced green chili pepper

1 cup organic chicken broth

1 tbsp chili powder

1 tsp cumin

salt and pepper as needed

Daisy sour cream to dollop on top before serving (IF you can manage this…some sulfite-nots cannot, so beware)

  1. The night before, soak beans separately, covering with water, overnight.  Make sure to pick out the ugly stepchild beans that don’t belong.  They can eventually make the end result mushy.
  2. Add the soaked beans in the crock-pot with the can of tomatoes, chopped-up chili pepper, chicken broth; salt and pepper.
  3. Let it sit there on low for about 8 hours, but please check on it.  You may need to add a bit more broth.  We don’t want a repeat of this, do we?


I am ready to talk about what happened now; Advil kicking in.  This chili was good, don’t get me wrong.  Thor not only took it to work the next day, but he had another bowl of it for lunch on Saturday, right in front of me.  I saw him put it in his mouth and he didn’t even spit it in the sink.  This is what actually occured.  When combining ingredients, I thought I was being cutesie and culinarily adorable** when I substituted a can of diced tomatoes.  I decided to just chop up a tomato and chuck it in there.  After checking on it at the 7th hour, it was like the Sahara on a bad day.

Not me. But...me.

Apparently, I needed the juice from the can and didn’t put extra water in the crockpot.  I quicky added a few cups of water and saved the bastard, but I telling you right now that it was a close one.  And this blonde needs a  I need a vacation.

********************************************************************************************************

*This drawing is reedonkulous.

Things that are wrong with this picture:

  • That’s supposed to be a pan with bacon and eggs. It looks like a tennis racket with an upside-down grumpy face.
  • I cant even eat bacon and eggs.
  • It looks like I am wearing 2 breast implants with a see-through skirt.
  • Don’t you hate it when you get black on the tip of your yellow highlighter pen?
  • I don’t look very upset.
  • I wish I was that skinny.

**culinarily adorable[adj]

cu·li·nar·il·y [ kúllə nèrr ill ee ] a·dor·a·ble [ ə dáwrəb’l ]

Sweet, lovable, endearing, huggable in the kitchen when substituting ingredients, thinking that is acceptable when you really just outright suck.

Last week while making pesto, Heather was culinarily adorable when she thought she could substitute 2 cloves of garlic with 4 cups of sugar. 

Sidenote:  In regards to my first caption picture: you can look at the word “analysis” 50 times and it STILL doesn’t seem right.  I mean it has the word anal in it and you don’t ever want to willingly use the word anal, unless you are talking about…anal stuff…especially when you are typing a recipe.

Was that Advil I just took?  Or 3 Vicodin?  Hm.

20
Aug
11

I didn’t die at The Staples.


This is a follow up post to YESTERDAY’S post. Just wanted to update the two people who were wondering if I survived.

Happy and relaxed, ready to really DO THIS.

I had my 3 lists. I had my 3 children.  I had my agenda:  The Staples, lunch,  The Jewel,  Alpha hair cut.  GO!

It wasn’t that bad.  Total drama queen. I annoy me.

At around the middle of the second list, I did start to get a little sweaty and thirsty.  The kids wanted everything that they could get their nasty grubby little hands on (Bambi, you do NOT need a bedazzled stapler) and they were all talking to me at the same time and I was like, “GAAAAAAA!  StopITSTOPShhhhSHHHSTOPTouchingME!”

Alpha, although sweet and thoughtful enough to push the cart, literally bumped into every single person who passed.  And he kept on whacking the back of my heel and my shoe would flip off.   I HATE THAT.  I finally did get full-on dizzy and thought I was going to pass out from a panic attack in the aisle 12 accordion file section.

If Cracker asked me one more time if she could get a lollipop, I was going to shove her in one of the display desk drawers and leave her there.

I did each kid’s list one at a time and let me tell you, it did take a village.  The Staples people were like gnats buzzing around me to guide me to everything I couldn’t find.  Annoying, but very helpful.  Mr.Coffee Breath is always so friendly behind the copy desk!  I really consider him a pal and I feel like we have gotten really close with all my Girl Monday copying excursions this past year.  I really wish he wouldn’t forget me every time I go in there.  Jerk.

So, really The Staples did totally deliver.  I feel really confident that I didn’t do the Walgreens or Tarjay Boutique thing.  Walgreens totally jacks up the prices and I avoid Target because I belong to THIS FACEBOOK GROUP.  The Staples had everything I needed on the lists, except for Alpha’s science goggles – TOTAL mom fail on those.  There are no scientific dork shops in my town that I can find to get those, so now I have to order online and spend 5 times more on the shipping, in order to get it here by Wednesday.

I suck.

But hey!

We even played a shopping game!

At the register, Alpha, Bambi, Cracker and I had a wager as to how much this would all cost.

Cracker said, “I don’t care, I just want a lollipop.”

Bambi said $24.

Alpha said $60.

None of them are very good at that game.

Guess. There are 86 items in the basket.

Ok, stop it.  That’s enough guessing.

$275.64

Holy Schneikies. NOT BAD!

What I did was, I pretended that I thought it was going to be around $600 and therefore, I was really pleasantly surprised.  I think like that on a daily basis because life, in general, hurts less.  I am a big fan of low expectations.

The receipt was long and it made us giggle because it kept on coming out of the guy’s register.

As you can see, some little monster got her freakin’ mutha trucking lollipop.  And this was obviously BEFORE Alpha’s haircut.

I really need to get back on track here.  Absolutely none of this has anything to do with a sulfite.  My apologies.

18
Aug
11

My Kitchen Reeks.


MOM! WHAT THE H*LL!

The kids keep on walking in here from the backyard and they are like, “UHHH! GAAA!  MOOOMMM, WHAT IS THAT???”

What?

I’m just cooking.

Yesterday I made a really runny and watery batch of Cream of Asparagus soup and some Parmesan-encrusted baked chicken. The later was NOT sulfite-free so don’t get all excited.  The soup just totally pissed me off.  I couldn’t get it thickened up properly.  I kept on making little roux batches while repeatedly thinking,  “Shit, more flour???”  Finally, I  looked at it on the stove top and went like this to it and then left it there while I stormed out to work.  Thor dealt with it, God love the man.

When I came home, he was like, “I put your soup away.  It was good.  Was a little watery.”

Today, the reason why my kitchen reeks is because I made blueberry vinegar. WORD!

I really did!

And it doesn’t blow!

It’s rice vinegar-based so I should be able to tolerate it.  Will post the recipe that I got from Recipe Magazine in a minute.

I am crossing my fingers that it will be yummy in 24 hours  and ready to mix with a little EVOO and salad.  Yummers!

I am also making a vegetarian crock pot chili -so easy, so sulfite free.  Hope it doesn’t blow up and end on my kitchen ceiling.  Will post that recipe soon as well.

In conclusion, besides burning my children’s lungs and making a pissy, wussy batch of soup, I am really cranking around here, peeps.

THIS IS MY 50th POST!! WEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

16
Aug
11

The Sulfite Addiction. And other rants.



It’s like crack.

This addiction to sulfites.

It’s making me an insane woman.  I mean, MORE insane.

I almost long for the days when I would get a reaction that would disable me.  Then I would be forced to avoid everything I can’t eat like the plague.  Now it takes a really large amount of sulfites to effect my RA on the OUTSIDE.  So I cheat and I slowly feel like crapola.

Here is my sulfite haiku:

food with sulfites

shoved in mouth

walk with limp

***********************************

Seriously, who is with me here?  It’s like any diet.  I do okay in the morning.   I am a spitfire of self-control and will power.  But then my light starts to flicker just the ttttiiiiiiiiiiiinneeeesssttt bit near lunch time when I have to make the kids’ food.  So I make the grilled cheese.  My picky children (say outloud with whiniest voice possible) “…need the crusts off…..ppllleeaasee Mommy?”

NO NO NO because MOMMY WILL EAT THE CRUSTS.  THE LITTLE CHEESE-FILLED PIECES OF CRUSTS, WHERE THE CHEESE OOZES OUT THE SIDES.

Cheese that used to render me a virtual paraplegic from the neck down before my meds came into my life.

Now, it’s a slow poisoning.  It’s a gradual bloat all day. By dinner, I am practically shoving olives, laced with vinegar, garlic and jelly in my mouth. I look in the mirror before bed, and I stare at the moon pie face.  And I feel nothing but guilt for sneaking grilled cheese crusties into my mouth…or a few left over nuggets…

It’s like a drug addiction. True dat.

I NEVER considered myself having a food addiction.  Facebook?  Hello, obvious.  Booze?  Sure, why not.  Sex?  Thor wishes.  But, food has never been a really big thing for me.  I don’t care where or what I eat, as long as my tummy doesn’t hurt and I get rid of my low blood sugar grumpies.  But I am addicted to the sulfite DRUGS that are put in our food to keep them from getting moldy.

I have been thinking about trying this HcG diet, but because of some of my medical problems, I am weary.  and SELF! Wake up!  (Smacking myself on the head.)  I don’t need to do anything but eat clean again.

Why is it so hard? whywhywhywhywhy

Summer’s End and a beaten shell of a woman.

I am so tired.  I am a broken woman from this summer.  Done.  Flip me over, take me off the grill, I have had it.  I love my babies but I long for routine, organization, a clean house, a moment to cry and minute to go to the bathroom without someone walking in on me with the DVD case, asking me to put on a movie.  THEY NEED TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL.

There.  I said it.  Hey, lady..you…over there, PerfectMom…shaking your head. Stop being horrified.  I said what most mothers are thinking right now, but are too worried about being labeled as a bad mother to admit it.

I think some people who don’t get it or don’t want to understand might look at me and say:  “Oh.  Boo.  Poor shell of a woman.  I feel so bad for you that you got to stay home and go to the pool 3 days a week and go to Great America and wear your jammies until 10am and not be in an office.”

And I do love my job.

Correction: Job(S).

Besides the fact that I run a small Entertainment PR firm from my office, I perform as a vocalist and I have over 15 vocal students, I also “work from home” as a mommy and I have to say that my office is not THAT different from other offices where I have worked.  Except:

  • The water cooler is fulled with Cherry Capri Suns
  • My bosses are all under the ages of 12 and they are also my clients.  They can also be intimidating.
  • All  traveling occurs in a dying minivan with little people whipping skittles at my head, yelling at me to turn up the volume on the movie
  • My printer is jammed with 147 print-outs of Hello Kitty coloring pages
  • My work luncheons occur at the snack area of Target
  • All office supplies are made by Crayola
  • I network at the pool
  • The conference room apparently has a toilet in it.

Perks:  Bambi makes me beautiful pictures to decorate my office and helps oversee the “small neighborhood children running all over my house” department. 

Cracker lightens up the office atmosphere with giggles, dancing, messing up every room 12 minutes after I have cleaned it and changing her outfits multiple times a day.

  Alpha is definitely Head of Security, training on the Xbox and learning how to whack people with lacrosse sticks. 

We can’t forget the independent contractors:  (Or sometimes referred to as the workers in the “small neighborhood children running all over my house” department.) The multitudes of little neighborhood children (who I love).  These little cutie pies are constantly stopping in the house for little meetings.  The topics of these are usually strategizing about pulling out every toy in the house and throwing it on the floor, presentations painted on rugs with nail polish and snack breaks every 15 minutes to eat all the food we have in the house.  (These are, of course, supported practices, as most of MY little people in this office are doing them same thing over at their offices.)

Thor always wins employee of the day for coming home from his bigger office job and helps me sort out this hot mess over here.

  I love my co-workers.

  And after my shift is over, when hopefully the house is straightened, the dishes are  in the washer, lights are off and doors are locked ,Thor and I can crawl into bed.

It’s a charming scenario: me, happily sipping my chardonnay and Thor, quietly wanting to kill me for making him watch Toddlers and Tiaras.  No one said life is easy, but dayum, it sure is good.

Happy Anniversary Simple Dude!  I am a proud Simpleton.

31
Jul
11

Introducing a wonderful new website….


CHECK IT OUT

TA DA!!!!

A new website!

 

 

 

http://holdthesulfites.com/

It’s awesome, ya’all.

My friend Tracy, who I met through my awesome Dr. Unger, is my Sulfite-not Guru.  She has put together a really informative and easy to navigate website for peeps like us and she really has developed superior knowledge on the subject.  It also helps that she is also really handy in the kitchen.  She often helps me out on here with some great comments and suggestions, so make sure you add her to your useful site links.

I personally am looking for updated things to make, since I am starting up tomorrow on detox and eating clean again.  Thor is starting on his journey to lose 40 pounds by his 40th birthday in May.  It should get pretty interesting around here.

So I am making my shopping list for the week and I am making my meals list.

I am going to start by making a whole chicken today (with an apple shoved right in the cavity, thanks to Tracy’s suggestion…YOWZA).

EXCUSE ME. DO I KNOW YOU?

I will then save the broth and make a tortilla-esque soup (without the tortillas.  Should be a travesty.  Will take pictures.)

I am on a kick right now making smoothies with Greek yogurt, a bit of milk, frozen organic mix of berries, a banana and a touch of honey.  I will continue to mix that up for breakfast with some homemade bread I have cooking now…I usually put honey on that…breakfast is hard and I was thrilled to see a mouth-watering, spicy option on Tracy’s site…spicy sausage, so I am going to give that a try as well this week.

I love me some artichokes so I I am going to have that for lunch one day…and I will probably stick to salads with some of the Sunday chicken I am going to make.  I make my own lemon based dressing with fresh herbs from the garden.  I got addicted to Hidden Valley ranch again and for some CRAZY reason, it doesn’t seem to affect me, except making my ass really, really FAT.

Baked potatoes are great for lunch as well….and I am going to try some Hormel chicken breast lunch meat and maybe the ham for sammies…I hear that they are sulfite-free and people have had success with them.  That would be great in a salad, as well.

Dinners are going to be interesting because Thor is going to need to eat lean and I am trying to eat clean.  So I can have a nice whopping steak and he can only have one the size of Bambi’s fist.  Poor Thor.  It will be interesting all around to have to please all 5 eaters in this house that have restrictions.  The girls are just plain picky as hell.  Although,  Alpha, God love him, will eat anything…

Things I can’t do:

*Cut of the crust on everyone’s grilled cheese sammies and shove them in my mouth.  Then say, “Oh my.  I forgot to eat lunch.”  Wake up, fat ass.  You did, and it was a sulfite pit of hell.

*Do well all day and then blow it while watching Project Runway with a handful of Cheeze It’s at 9:45pm

*go ANYWHERE without some approved food with me.  The pool is Satan’s Sulfite Haven for cheating.  The snack bar literally has not one thing that I can eat, but I go there every day and if I forget to bring something to eat, I am lunging for a piece of pizza or sneaking nachos and evil cheese from my poor children, while yelling, “Bambi!  Look over there!” They hate me when I do that.  And I hate me, too.

*Forget that, even though my joints are not swelling to a point of paralysis, what I put in my mouth is making me very sick still.  So self, don’t F*ck up.  Love me.  Take care of me.  Let’s get some Stuart Smalley all up in here, lady.  It’s time to rock this OUT!

THE GREAT EXPERIMENT

I am hoping to have a phone meeting with my pal, THE VOICE, to get her on the same page.  We are avoiding each other because we do not want to take “before” shots.  And I don’t blame us.

Have a great rest of the weekend, all!!

26
Jul
11

And She is Alive….


….Hello…hello??? (Tap tap tap) Is this thing on????

(Such a stupid corny joke but I could not stop myself.)

I thought it might be time for an update…

Hello lovelies!

I have been under a rock for awhile.  Mainly because I didn’t know what to do about this blog.  Massive avoidance.

At first I was like, OMG!  I don’t have a sulfite allergy!  I have Rheumatoid Arthritis.  YAY!   Wait.  What?

Then I was like, oh.  That sucks.  Little did I know that I have BOTH.  Or more properly, I probably have a side effect or side disorder of this allergy that compliments the RA.  No one has been able to tell me that for sure.  My RA Doc insists that the sulfite thing is not true.  My lovable Dr. Unger is supportive.  I pick number #2.

But I thought all my worries were over with meds.  So what does one do?  Eat cheese.

You see, I started Enbrel and it sort of changed my life.  My RA has gone pretty much into remission.  (Or so I thought.)  I was actually able to EAT things again and still walk after 4 hours.

So then I was like, OMG.  The cure for a sulfite allergy is biologics!

Wait the the free world hears about this!!

I felt GREAT.  I was running up stairs.  I was eating garlic and onions!  I was chasing my kids and drinking yummy wine and….

was also about to stroke out. Or at least, paving the way to an eventual stroke or heart attack.

All of the sudden my BP was going nuts.  Now, granted I have all my kids home this summer and I am literally exhausted from entertaining them.  But I was starting to seriously bloat.  Like,

BLOAT

In my face and my ankles and my stomach…and of course, I always would get the notion to get it checked out on the weekends or Weds. when my awesome and lovable DR. is off.  Seriously.  It’s so Murphy’s Law.  He office is also far and going to see him takes about 5 hours out of my day.  I am living in the land of teaching, playdates, pools and Great America so instead of taking a day to myself, I just put it off.

In less than three months, I have gained 26 pounds.  HELLO LADY!

Truth.

My crazy woman self -diagnosing started kicking in.  I figured out that I was eating the sulfites and my body didn’t know what to DO with that information.   My body was like,” shit, wait, somethings not right…CURSES TO YOU, ENBREL, we can’t make her joints swell!  Let’s….um….I don’t know…spike her blood pressure….kick her kidneys so she doesn’t pee!…see how she likes that!”  It seemed that sometimes TMI I was having trouble peeing and when that happened, by BP would jump up.  Crazy shenanigans, I tell you.

I could say this: Thor is my witness that this is not just me eating 5 Buena Beefs with a side of cheese fries a day.  I am simply not eating enough to pack on that weight. Or am I?  I mean, REALLY.  I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE OBESE WOMEN CRYING ON JENNY JONES THAT I DON’T EAT ANYTHING!!!  (or wait, am I?)  Seriously, dude.  That did NOT take long for me to gain that. Renee Zellwiger would be very impressed.  But, seriously, the swell reaction is intense.  You can see my face a couple of hours after I eat something and I look like

THIS

So finally one day, my BP was high and it was stuck up there for a few days, I felt like crap and it was of course a WEDNESDAY, so I called my old dr around here who did me so wrong for years…so, so wrong…but they were actually civil and gave me a diuretic.  Which I just started.  Now I am tired, dizzy and I pee.  All. The. Time.  And I can’t go in the sun.  But I have to.  Because all I do is go to the pool with my kids.  So now I may get skin cancer. And pass out and drown in the water.  Or something.  Stay tuned.

Look.  I gained this weight because I slowly started to eat crap again.  Do I think I am carrying 25 pounds of water weight?  Puh-leeze.  My blood pressure is also probably up again because I am a fat ass.  Werd.  But I need to get back on track here.  Especially since Thor is going to be 40 in 9 months so he is starting a regimen to lose 40 pounds by 40.  And he will lose it all quickly and I will want to stab him in his sleep.  So let’s do this bitch. I will NOT have him leave me in the dust and I WILL NOT have the man who does not blog, all of the sudden blog MORE that me.  GAME ON, MISTER.

Hopefully this will help.  Time will tell.  For  now, I have to say, I have to go back to clean eating.

GUEST ARTIST COMING SOON:

One of my dearest friends in the world, one of my BFF’s from high school, let’s call her…THE VOICE (lol she will appreciate that inside joke) is going to go on a little clean living journey with me.  So starts the trek.  I promise you a blogging world filled with nasty before and after pictures, 2 dorks in the kitchen, some possible sulfite-free  wine-induced blogging and most probably some bloody tears. She is really organized, stays on my ass and kicks it repeatedly, so there should be more follow through on this than the last little project of cooking and blogging that I started on here.

But I have to be honest with myself .

Dear Self,

Just because I have found a blessed band-aid for my disease AT THE MOMENT (these biologic meds have a tendency to stop working after awhile and sometimes riddle you with cancer.  Rah!) I know that I need to go back to staying away from sulfites.

Love,

Myself

Little sulfitenots, sorry I have been on a fat collecting, Brimstone Demon-filled vacation, but I am back now and ready to party, sulfite-free style.

WOOT!




Heather Moran

Crazed sulfite-free woman.

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