Posts Tagged ‘sulfite free cooking

17
Oct
11

She Can Lift Her Head Off The Table.


Now that I have then strength to lift my head off the table, it’s time for me to fill you in on my sulfite-free FAD DIET progress.

Official status report: SUPERFREAKINAWESOME.

ok, so I have to admit, the first three days was like walking around carrying 3 bloated elephants wearing fat suits.  BRU-to the-TAL.  But I eventually got the rhythm of everything and I.FEEL.FANTASTIC.

Mostly, probably, because I am clean.  Not sulfites or booze for 8 days.  There is not one sulfite iota in me.  (Lie.  Our body makes natural sulfites.)  But I am not intentionally putting anything in me and I feel like I could fly.  (Apparently, there may be some traces of college-age LCD.)

Down 13 pounds, too.

I did have a major RA flare-up for 5 of those days, but that is because I was late taking my shot, thinking that I might not need it anymore.  Sometimes, I am a ridiculous person.

So, unnamed fad diet working.  I am not really hungry on it, that is the trick with it, I think.  But mostly, I see the others around me not GAINING and I think that is the whole key to this thing. Whatever, still not endorsing.  Still not divulging.  It’s really no big deal because the point is that I am clean and losing weight.  Once I get through this little test of endurance, I will be back to clean living and hope I can naturally and slowly lose the rest of the weight.  This, so far, is a nice springboard.  BOINGGGGGG………

I think one of the reasons that I am doing too well on it is because I am used to being already a bit deprived having a sulfite allergy.  I am used to having to make my food, even when I am really hungry.  It feels good again to know what I am putting in my mouth is good for me.

I have some recipes that I am going to pop up for everyone and some of them are quite delicious.  I just had me some chili that was scrumptious!!  Lots of chicken, lots of fish, ground turkey, some meat…yummy veggies and fruits.

Pros: feeling great, losing weight, not hungry, great feeling of accomplishment

Cons: I miss booze.

Come back later and check out some of the recipes.  I am going to type some up now.   Bon Appétit, sulfite-nots!

22
Aug
11

THE BLONDE CHILI ADVENTURE


*Please see bottom for photo analysis.

or otherwise known as How I Made Crockpot Sulfite-Free Chili Yesterday And It Took Me 12 Hours.  This is not the title of the recipe for a blonde chili, like, made with all yellow ingredients.  This is like, a blonde totally screwed up this recipe.  This easy, three step, a blind hamster could make this recipe, recipe.  Just to clarify.

We are not going to dwell right now on the fact that it took me an extra 4 hours to make this edible.  Let’s just not go there, because I am too menstrual to hover in the abyss.

This is a nice vegetarian, very easy and quick chili recipe…next time I am going to add some ground turkey and I am going to try really, really hard to do a better job.

Vegetarian Chili

Ingredients:

15 ounces kidney beans

15 ounces black beans

5 ounces white beans

1 can ORGANIC diced tomatoes

diced green chili pepper

1 cup organic chicken broth

1 tbsp chili powder

1 tsp cumin

salt and pepper as needed

Daisy sour cream to dollop on top before serving (IF you can manage this…some sulfite-nots cannot, so beware)

  1. The night before, soak beans separately, covering with water, overnight.  Make sure to pick out the ugly stepchild beans that don’t belong.  They can eventually make the end result mushy.
  2. Add the soaked beans in the crock-pot with the can of tomatoes, chopped-up chili pepper, chicken broth; salt and pepper.
  3. Let it sit there on low for about 8 hours, but please check on it.  You may need to add a bit more broth.  We don’t want a repeat of this, do we?


I am ready to talk about what happened now; Advil kicking in.  This chili was good, don’t get me wrong.  Thor not only took it to work the next day, but he had another bowl of it for lunch on Saturday, right in front of me.  I saw him put it in his mouth and he didn’t even spit it in the sink.  This is what actually occured.  When combining ingredients, I thought I was being cutesie and culinarily adorable** when I substituted a can of diced tomatoes.  I decided to just chop up a tomato and chuck it in there.  After checking on it at the 7th hour, it was like the Sahara on a bad day.

Not me. But...me.

Apparently, I needed the juice from the can and didn’t put extra water in the crockpot.  I quicky added a few cups of water and saved the bastard, but I telling you right now that it was a close one.  And this blonde needs a  I need a vacation.

********************************************************************************************************

*This drawing is reedonkulous.

Things that are wrong with this picture:

  • That’s supposed to be a pan with bacon and eggs. It looks like a tennis racket with an upside-down grumpy face.
  • I cant even eat bacon and eggs.
  • It looks like I am wearing 2 breast implants with a see-through skirt.
  • Don’t you hate it when you get black on the tip of your yellow highlighter pen?
  • I don’t look very upset.
  • I wish I was that skinny.

**culinarily adorable[adj]

cu·li·nar·il·y [ kúllə nèrr ill ee ] a·dor·a·ble [ ə dáwrəb’l ]

Sweet, lovable, endearing, huggable in the kitchen when substituting ingredients, thinking that is acceptable when you really just outright suck.

Last week while making pesto, Heather was culinarily adorable when she thought she could substitute 2 cloves of garlic with 4 cups of sugar. 

Sidenote:  In regards to my first caption picture: you can look at the word “analysis” 50 times and it STILL doesn’t seem right.  I mean it has the word anal in it and you don’t ever want to willingly use the word anal, unless you are talking about…anal stuff…especially when you are typing a recipe.

Was that Advil I just took?  Or 3 Vicodin?  Hm.

20
Aug
11

I didn’t die at The Staples.


This is a follow up post to YESTERDAY’S post. Just wanted to update the two people who were wondering if I survived.

Happy and relaxed, ready to really DO THIS.

I had my 3 lists. I had my 3 children.  I had my agenda:  The Staples, lunch,  The Jewel,  Alpha hair cut.  GO!

It wasn’t that bad.  Total drama queen. I annoy me.

At around the middle of the second list, I did start to get a little sweaty and thirsty.  The kids wanted everything that they could get their nasty grubby little hands on (Bambi, you do NOT need a bedazzled stapler) and they were all talking to me at the same time and I was like, “GAAAAAAA!  StopITSTOPShhhhSHHHSTOPTouchingME!”

Alpha, although sweet and thoughtful enough to push the cart, literally bumped into every single person who passed.  And he kept on whacking the back of my heel and my shoe would flip off.   I HATE THAT.  I finally did get full-on dizzy and thought I was going to pass out from a panic attack in the aisle 12 accordion file section.

If Cracker asked me one more time if she could get a lollipop, I was going to shove her in one of the display desk drawers and leave her there.

I did each kid’s list one at a time and let me tell you, it did take a village.  The Staples people were like gnats buzzing around me to guide me to everything I couldn’t find.  Annoying, but very helpful.  Mr.Coffee Breath is always so friendly behind the copy desk!  I really consider him a pal and I feel like we have gotten really close with all my Girl Monday copying excursions this past year.  I really wish he wouldn’t forget me every time I go in there.  Jerk.

So, really The Staples did totally deliver.  I feel really confident that I didn’t do the Walgreens or Tarjay Boutique thing.  Walgreens totally jacks up the prices and I avoid Target because I belong to THIS FACEBOOK GROUP.  The Staples had everything I needed on the lists, except for Alpha’s science goggles – TOTAL mom fail on those.  There are no scientific dork shops in my town that I can find to get those, so now I have to order online and spend 5 times more on the shipping, in order to get it here by Wednesday.

I suck.

But hey!

We even played a shopping game!

At the register, Alpha, Bambi, Cracker and I had a wager as to how much this would all cost.

Cracker said, “I don’t care, I just want a lollipop.”

Bambi said $24.

Alpha said $60.

None of them are very good at that game.

Guess. There are 86 items in the basket.

Ok, stop it.  That’s enough guessing.

$275.64

Holy Schneikies. NOT BAD!

What I did was, I pretended that I thought it was going to be around $600 and therefore, I was really pleasantly surprised.  I think like that on a daily basis because life, in general, hurts less.  I am a big fan of low expectations.

The receipt was long and it made us giggle because it kept on coming out of the guy’s register.

As you can see, some little monster got her freakin’ mutha trucking lollipop.  And this was obviously BEFORE Alpha’s haircut.

I really need to get back on track here.  Absolutely none of this has anything to do with a sulfite.  My apologies.

18
Aug
11

My Kitchen Reeks.


MOM! WHAT THE H*LL!

The kids keep on walking in here from the backyard and they are like, “UHHH! GAAA!  MOOOMMM, WHAT IS THAT???”

What?

I’m just cooking.

Yesterday I made a really runny and watery batch of Cream of Asparagus soup and some Parmesan-encrusted baked chicken. The later was NOT sulfite-free so don’t get all excited.  The soup just totally pissed me off.  I couldn’t get it thickened up properly.  I kept on making little roux batches while repeatedly thinking,  “Shit, more flour???”  Finally, I  looked at it on the stove top and went like this to it and then left it there while I stormed out to work.  Thor dealt with it, God love the man.

When I came home, he was like, “I put your soup away.  It was good.  Was a little watery.”

Today, the reason why my kitchen reeks is because I made blueberry vinegar. WORD!

I really did!

And it doesn’t blow!

It’s rice vinegar-based so I should be able to tolerate it.  Will post the recipe that I got from Recipe Magazine in a minute.

I am crossing my fingers that it will be yummy in 24 hours  and ready to mix with a little EVOO and salad.  Yummers!

I am also making a vegetarian crock pot chili -so easy, so sulfite free.  Hope it doesn’t blow up and end on my kitchen ceiling.  Will post that recipe soon as well.

In conclusion, besides burning my children’s lungs and making a pissy, wussy batch of soup, I am really cranking around here, peeps.

THIS IS MY 50th POST!! WEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

31
Jul
11

Introducing a wonderful new website….


CHECK IT OUT

TA DA!!!!

A new website!

 

 

 

http://holdthesulfites.com/

It’s awesome, ya’all.

My friend Tracy, who I met through my awesome Dr. Unger, is my Sulfite-not Guru.  She has put together a really informative and easy to navigate website for peeps like us and she really has developed superior knowledge on the subject.  It also helps that she is also really handy in the kitchen.  She often helps me out on here with some great comments and suggestions, so make sure you add her to your useful site links.

I personally am looking for updated things to make, since I am starting up tomorrow on detox and eating clean again.  Thor is starting on his journey to lose 40 pounds by his 40th birthday in May.  It should get pretty interesting around here.

So I am making my shopping list for the week and I am making my meals list.

I am going to start by making a whole chicken today (with an apple shoved right in the cavity, thanks to Tracy’s suggestion…YOWZA).

EXCUSE ME. DO I KNOW YOU?

I will then save the broth and make a tortilla-esque soup (without the tortillas.  Should be a travesty.  Will take pictures.)

I am on a kick right now making smoothies with Greek yogurt, a bit of milk, frozen organic mix of berries, a banana and a touch of honey.  I will continue to mix that up for breakfast with some homemade bread I have cooking now…I usually put honey on that…breakfast is hard and I was thrilled to see a mouth-watering, spicy option on Tracy’s site…spicy sausage, so I am going to give that a try as well this week.

I love me some artichokes so I I am going to have that for lunch one day…and I will probably stick to salads with some of the Sunday chicken I am going to make.  I make my own lemon based dressing with fresh herbs from the garden.  I got addicted to Hidden Valley ranch again and for some CRAZY reason, it doesn’t seem to affect me, except making my ass really, really FAT.

Baked potatoes are great for lunch as well….and I am going to try some Hormel chicken breast lunch meat and maybe the ham for sammies…I hear that they are sulfite-free and people have had success with them.  That would be great in a salad, as well.

Dinners are going to be interesting because Thor is going to need to eat lean and I am trying to eat clean.  So I can have a nice whopping steak and he can only have one the size of Bambi’s fist.  Poor Thor.  It will be interesting all around to have to please all 5 eaters in this house that have restrictions.  The girls are just plain picky as hell.  Although,  Alpha, God love him, will eat anything…

Things I can’t do:

*Cut of the crust on everyone’s grilled cheese sammies and shove them in my mouth.  Then say, “Oh my.  I forgot to eat lunch.”  Wake up, fat ass.  You did, and it was a sulfite pit of hell.

*Do well all day and then blow it while watching Project Runway with a handful of Cheeze It’s at 9:45pm

*go ANYWHERE without some approved food with me.  The pool is Satan’s Sulfite Haven for cheating.  The snack bar literally has not one thing that I can eat, but I go there every day and if I forget to bring something to eat, I am lunging for a piece of pizza or sneaking nachos and evil cheese from my poor children, while yelling, “Bambi!  Look over there!” They hate me when I do that.  And I hate me, too.

*Forget that, even though my joints are not swelling to a point of paralysis, what I put in my mouth is making me very sick still.  So self, don’t F*ck up.  Love me.  Take care of me.  Let’s get some Stuart Smalley all up in here, lady.  It’s time to rock this OUT!

THE GREAT EXPERIMENT

I am hoping to have a phone meeting with my pal, THE VOICE, to get her on the same page.  We are avoiding each other because we do not want to take “before” shots.  And I don’t blame us.

Have a great rest of the weekend, all!!

14
Oct
10

First cookoff item: Baby Bear Porridge


I woke up without the use of the OTHER hand.  I ate virtually NOTHING yesterday but I did have some baked Kettle sea salt chips.  The baked part was new.  REALLY?  Would that be it?  *Sigh* Will have to call company.  Anyway, I am henpecking with one hand so you know I started typing this entry last Thursday and I am still going.

But I must rise and conquer. Can’t blow on my stupid first day of the stupid cook-off that stupid me said that I would stupid do.

So, I decided to make a breakfast item because I never know what to eat in the mornings and I am looking for something healthy, filling, fast and something that won’t swell my appendages.  I smell oatmeal ceilings.  Off to the races!!!!
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13
Oct
10

Kitchen blonde+holiday planning=challenge


I went to a weenie roast the other day.

I ate beforehand and brought my own wine.

But I just couldn’t help myself with the food.  It was so amazing and forbidden.

This is what I ate:

  1. 1 ritz-like cracker dipped in yummy, slutty pizza dip
  2. 1 bite of Thor’s personal serving of cheese-chili quiche
  3. 1 freshly made burger, seasoned with REGULAR salt and pepper with a slice of tomato and lettuce on top.

That was enough to put me into 3 days of hezzell.

And it really got me thinking about the holidays and all the partying I am about to do.

I DOUBLE DOG DARE ME!

OK, so this is the challenge I am giving myself.  I will be making one thing a day that we, us sulfitenots, can eat.  Will some of it land on my wall or ceiling?  Probably.  Will it be edible?  Doubt it.  Will any of you want the recipes?  Not Way, Shirlay.  But as Thor is my hot*ss husband/witness, I CHALLENGE ME TO A COOKING CHALLENGE!

 

 

SUPER BAD COOK LADY TO THE RESCUE!

 

Alright, sheesh, now I just blogged it so I have to do it.

  • I declare to find my apron on the floor in the corner of my pantry and remove all dust balls,dead spiders and roll-away Cheetos balls.
  • I promise to wash my hands and not adhere AT ALL by any 5 to 10 second dropsie rule.
  • I swear that none of you will ever have to actually sample what I am making in person and that you will be much better off making it yourself.
  • And I vow to not buy anything from Whole Foods and pretend that I made it myself.

 

WONDERBLOND POWER ACTIVATE!

FORM OF: SULFITE-FREE COOK!

and now……………………………………………….OFF TO THE JEWEL!

 

(Sh*t.  Can’t find keys.)

 

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Heather Moran

Crazed sulfite-free woman.

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